It's Their Fault Not Mine

Bitter & Angry Person #1

You have been “done wrong” so many times that you now walk around with such a bitterness that no one even cares to interact with you out of fear that you will find any reason to blame them for the things going on in your life. You can’t sleep because something someone said to you today has you in an uproar that you just can’t let go of. You family, if you have any around, are having to take the brunt of your frustration because, after all, you have a right to complain and blame if you want to. Your co-workers like you but get so tired of hearing the “he said, she said” that you use to blame someone for what went wrong that day.

Bitter & Angry Person #2

No one understands you. They just don’t get what all you have been through in life. Why don’t they care? You get so sick of feeling like you have to be everything for everyone but no one is there for you. No one puts you on a pedestal and makes you their number one priority. You just want to be the “most important” even if it is just for a little while. No one sees that you give up everything for everyone. You just want a life that belongs to you instead of everyone else. You are so tired of everyone overlooking you. You yell at your family to get their attention but nothing seems to work. You hide in the corner at work hoping your co-workers will take notice of all the “hard work” you put in and give you applause even though you really didn’t do as much as everyone else.

Bitter & Angry Person #3

You are so sick of everyone’s drama. It is always something! You complain and gossip about everyone else’s issues whenever you can. “You just don’t understand why they do what they do”, is a statement that comes from your mouth often. “Their life can’t be that bad.” Shoot, they should walk in your shoes for a day and then maybe they would have something to complain about. At least you don’t go around complaining about everything you have going on. You walk around with a smile while inside angry and bitter about what your husband said to you this morning or what the kids did while getting ready for school. You have to keep it all together because you certainly can’t let anyone know that you have “drama and problems” too. Otherwise, people will think you are a hypocrite for acting like they were crazy for venting about their anger and frustrations.

Bitter & Angry Person #4

You have had struggles your entire life. Seems like something is always going wrong. Then even when things get a little better all you can think about is what will go wrong next. You recall all the past negativity in your life that others brought. You blame them for not being able to get any further in life and you blame them for all of your emotional and mental struggles now. Your excuse for things never improving is usually, “I am who I am because of what happened to me.” Your favorite words are “I can’t” because you believe the lies you were told your entire life are true. You carry bitterness towards the mistakes made by the people who raised you. It is their fault you have the issues you have now. You're mad at them because you feel like they short-changed you. They are the ones holding you back. You want more but know it will never happen because of them.

The scenarios above are just a few examples of the bitterness and anger we can have. There are much more but I didn’t want to have to read a million of them. You may even relate to one or two that I shared. I know I can relate, whether it was my thought process or someone who is close to me. I have a personal relationship with someone who came from a very deep-rooted place of bitterness and anger. It was a terrible thing to witness. Praise the Lord, that over time, He worked on this person’s heart and softened it tremendously.

Life is entirely too short to hold on to bitterness and anger. It is crippling. It keeps you from developing healthy relationships with anyone. It keeps you in a state of mind that the world owes you something and it is everyone else’s fault. This goes for any level, not just the extreme ones I mentioned above. Something as simple as a close friend telling you the truth and not sugar-coating it can send you into a mindset that “They don’t know me and they don’t know what they are talking about. How dare they speak to me that way. Who do they think they are?” This was your best friend who has known you for years and loves you enough to tell you truth. Yet, because they didn’t give you the answer you thought you were entitled to, you are willing to blame them for your attitude. Sometimes even to the point that you will end the relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I am not giving permission to someone to say mean things and you take it like a champ. That is not what I am meaning. I am referring to the times when you pout like a baby because your best friend didn’t confirm your bitterness in a situation. Your bitterness existed before the words they spake. You had already decided that you were angry and they, unfortunately, became your punching bag.

How often do you use others as your punching bag? I am guilty of this. I will have something else on my mind that gets me angry and dwell on it. Then the first person closest to me, usually my husband, gets the punch. I am not proud of it. I believe we are all guilty of it. It isn’t fair to take out our issues on someone else. No one else is to blame but ourselves. We can’t control what others say and do but we can control how we react. This is the key point in this, YOU have control over how you react. This goes for recent situations or ones that happened years ago. As long as you continue to allow those things to have control over your mindset, then you will never be rid of the bitterness and anger that continually stops you from moving on in life. Stop blaming them. Stop using it as an excuse because you are too weak to pick yourself up and move on. Shame on you for laying that responsibility on someone else's shoulders. It is not anyone’s job to make you happy and feel good about life.

All of the power is in YOUR hands. Let go of bitterness, anger, and forgive. If the person you are angry towards is still in your life, set boundaries with them. Don’t put them in a place that will continue to stir up strife. If your spouse is the basis of your anger and bitterness, seek Godly counsel to help you both address the issue. If your spouse is unwilling to seek counsel, then just continue to pray for them and pray for yourself that you can let go of the anger and show unconditional love as Jesus would. If you are holding on to anger and bitterness because of past abuse that you endured, please know that you had no control over that action, but you do have the control to no longer give them the power over you. As long as you continue to hold on to it as the reason you have problems, you are allowing them to abuse you every day.

It is time to take control over your bitterness and anger so that you can start living life with open eyes and a loving heart. You WILL receive joy and peace. It is absolutely a wonderful feeling! Once you start this process amazing things will happen. Don't let anger and bitterness stop you from becoming the person who God intends for you to become and the blessings He has waiting for you!

There are many bible verses that address anger and bitterness. Here are a few:

Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

James 1:19-20

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Job 21:25

And another dieth in the bitterness of his soul, and never eateth with pleasure.

#lifelessons #anger #forgiveness #selfawareness #selfdevelopment

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