I'm not perfect.
I ate an entire bag of potato chips in less than 2 days on top of the other junk I ate.
I know what I need to do, but I don't always do it.
Sometimes, I just don't feel like doing it.
I want things to change, but sometimes I don't want to change.
I can be wide awake physically while mentally be out like a light.
I can be on fire mentally, but my body decides to go into zombie mode.
Most of the time I have a positive mindset, but somedays positivity just isn't enough.
My emotions run rampant and I begin to believe the lies of...
"I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND NEVER WILL BE"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I DO, IT WILL NEVER CHANGE"
Somedays I am in full focus and feel like wonderwoman.
Then comes along a day, week, several weeks where it takes all I have to push through.
But I push through.
I have no choice but to push through.
I refuse to go back to the days that life was nothing but a black hole.
A hole filled with...
I didn't care about anything, hiding from everything and everyone.
So I thought.
I really was just trying to hide from myself.
From the guilt that I carried.
I knew I was made for more but I allowed my walk with God to be muddied.
Muddied by what other's in my life had done.
But, He pulled be out of the quicksand.
He lifted me up and still carries me.
The Lord is my rock and my hiding place.
When I don't lean on him and try to lean on my "own strength", I slip and trip.
I may not be perfect but as long as I continue to...
LOOK TO HIM
PUSH FORWARD IN OBEDIENCE TO HIS WILL
He will work perfection in me.
Psalm 138 (KJV)
I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee.
I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.
In the day when I cried thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul.
All the kings of the earth shall praise thee, O Lord, when they hear the words of thy mouth.
Yea, they shall sing in the ways of the Lord: for great is the glory of the Lord.
Though the Lord be high, yet hath he respect unto the lowly: but the proud he knoweth afar off.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.
The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.