The hardest part about a journey to transformation is navigating through the negativity and lack of support from those closest to you. I don’t want to judge their attitude no more than I want my motives to be judged but I need to put out there what my thoughts are about it.
Sometimes those closest to you often do judge your motives for bettering yourself. I am certain this is because of their own insecurities. They may feel like you will leave them behind for better if you become a better version of you. They may think you are doing it for personal attention from others. They may even think you are doing it to try to say you are better than them. They don’t know your heart, but also be sure to check your motives and your heart. I would even be as bold to say that when you are working towards a transformation that God intends for your life, Satan will use the closest people to you to bring stumbling blocks.
Because I want to be transparent and hope to help someone else, I want to share my motives for my transformation journey. This makes me feel a little vulnerable but I want whoever needs to hear this to hear it! I have struggled for years and finally I feel something changing. It is not easy and I don’t know the end result but I know it has to be done. I will not let my excuses get in the way any longer. I will not let anyone else stop me from what God expects of me. He has the final say.
MOTIVE NUMBER 1
My relationship with Him is my primary motive. I have recently realized that my obstacles to being closer to God is my lack of concern for my physical health. I am overweight. Extremely overweight. I have a closer relationship with food than I do with God. I have a closer relationship with sitting on my butt watching TV or scrolling Facebook than I do with reading His Word, praying, and spending time in silence with Him. You may think this sounds crazy but the reality is He tells us not to serve any gods before Him. As long as I make junk food and TV my go-to when I am needing an emotional fulfillment then I am committing idolatry. Idolatry is more than worshiping a statue or a man-made god. It is ANYTHING we put before our relationship with God.
Now, I am not saying just because you eat a giant donut that you are an idol worshiper. Your motive for eating that donut is what makes the difference. If you chose to eat a ton of food or watch non-stop TV to fill a void or to try to drown out stress then you are putting those things before God. He is to be our void filler and stress reliever. I think you understand my point.
I have recently began exercising. Nothing fancy but trying to work up to more. I actually LOVE it. NEVER, ever have those words come out of my mouth! I look forward to it. I just started this a couple of weeks ago. Week one, I did great. Week two I got sick! Now that as slowed me down and I am not a happy camper. It is now something that I see an obstacle keeping me from staying on track. I am actually sitting here amazed at the fact that I even see it that way! When I do my workouts I am finding that I am getting alone and quiet time with God. He has spoken to my heart several times during these sessions. I want to clearly point out that this “getting healthy” aspect has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to feel better about myself or to please people. That used to be my motive and I never got anywhere. This has to do with treating my body for what it is, the temple of the Lord.
1 Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
1 Corinthians 3:17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
MOTIVE NUMBER 2
You are my motive! I can’t possibly be a servant to others if I am not setting the example. I can talk all day long about things you need to do to change your life and that you can change your life if you just stop making excuses and put your mind to it. Well, you know that old saying… PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH! I think what has held me back for so long was worrying about failure and not meeting the expectations of what others put on me or even my on expectations. All the while, ignoring God’s expectations. As long as we are focused on our expectations and the expectations of others we will never be happy with anything we may “achieve”.
What is so amazing is that if we are focused on God’s expectations we will ALWAYS achieve them and ALWAYS be fulfilled. I have no idea why I have been struggling all this time when it is really as simple as that. We tend to think things are complicated but God has literally written an instruction booklet and it is as clear as can be! I have the personality to do something without reading the instructions. This is not a good thing when it comes to God’s instructions. I have pretty much found that out the hard way!
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 4:13 Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.
THE JOURNEY TO TRANSFORMATION
My journey is not just about my physical health. It is also about my spiritual health. Without that nothing else matters. My outward appearance and physical health is only temporary. No matter what I do, I am still going to die one day. My spiritual health will carry me through trials and tribulations. It will help me be a better wife. It will help me serve God better. It will help me serve others better. My journey to transformation will never end until I am in the presence of Jesus. As long as we are on earth we will never be perfect. We will always have room to grow and transform.
I want to add this though, my journey isn’t yours and yours is not mine. We are all on different paths as God has plans for each of us and not ONE is the same. We each serve a unique purpose. This to me is one of the most wonderful and sweetest things to know. You and I don’t have to be like anyone else. We don’t have to live up to someone else’s ideas of what they think we should do. Our primary focus should be what God thinks. When you align yourself with that truth not only will you achieve great things and lose all your doubts, God will give you the strength to make it happen.
Ecclesiastes 3:11–14 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end. I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life. And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God. I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be forever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.